It sucks cause I know deep down I still like neighbour boy, I think I will always have that place in my heart for him. But I know that I cannot be naive and silly, to think that there would ever be a chance of us getting back together.

It sucks that he always thinks that I could get all emotional on him. I honestly havent gotten that emotional in a very long while. I think I have proven myself that I havent. I have been really happy for I while now. I thought that this summer would suck compared to last summer, so far it has been pretty good. I think the only down day I will have will be on Aug 8th, I am not sure how I will handle that one. I know that I wont get overly emotional. I think I'll just get alittle sad. hmmm. We shall see. No sence on dewling on it.

And with Ben I have no clue on where anything is heading with him. I don't know whats going to happen. I really dont want to be his hanging out buddy, I want something more than that. I not expecting to be like omg we are hardcore going out. I just want a low key, not serious bf. I mean he is rather fun to hang out with. It is nice to have a guy pay attention to me, but I want to be more than just a "fun time." Hmm. Ya I am so not investing to much into this, I can't get my heart broken again.

to be continued....