Work today was busy and I found that to be great.
All this weekend I tried to figure out what I was lacking in myself, what I was lacking in having an awesome guy who really wants to be with me. I realize that having a boyfriend or dating someone is not necessary. I just want to know where to go for the next one. I kept on looking at myself in the mirror this weekend and looked deep down inside of me. I saw someone who is "hot and beautiful" inside and out. I saw myself as having so much more confidence and self-esteem. I think what I was lacking inside myself when I was with Tyler was a sense of belief in myself, I wasnt valuing myself enough. I should of stood up for myself more and voiced some of what I thought. I guess I got so comfortable and wanted to feel safe, so I went along with what he was use to doing. I must say deep down I still miss not being able to be with him. But it is not the end of the world and like what he would put it, I am not a starving kid in Africa. All in all I am ever so grateful to have been able to have a relationship with him. Now that it is over I am grateful and happy that I am his friend. Besides I know I cannot go around hating him or feeling sad all the time. He is my next door neighbour. I am thankful for one thing that came out of all of this, it has taught me to be the strongest person I can be and to be able to believe and value myself first before finding a guy who falls in love with the amazing person I AM.