I can't sleep. This was not a happy night. I just dont know what I am going to do. My life at this point has turned very sad. I can't stop crying and shaking. I keep on asking myself why. I never come up with an answer. I , I just love you and it hurts so bad that you are unsure. We have had so many amazing times together and you have made me smile so much. I want to have so many more amazing times with you. You know where I stand from the conversation we had. I, I wanna fight for what I have with you. It just really hurts. And I know it hard for you cause I saw it in your face. I just dont have the words to describe how I am feeling right now. It sucks becuase I cant get back to sleep and I have work at 11:30. All I want is to sleep right now. I dont want to do anything. I dont know, I don't know. This has been the hardest night of my life. I just look back at all the wonderful times I have had with you and I look at where I am now. I dont like this feeling. I dont feel good. I dont feel good inside. I want to be with you. I want to make you happy. I want to be there for you when you get your operation done on your knee.

I have never cared for a person this much until you. I care for you so much.