It never really hits you, you know? Until there's that one day where you turn around, and find that everything you once knew is gone, all gone. I felt that today, some what, and I wish I didn't. I need some of those things to return to me. I need those things back. I like the old ways, the old times, the old feelings. I felt happy and ok, back then. I want the old days back, thats all am asking, rewind and return to september. I know that I can't do this or have this. It would hurt me far, way beyond what you could believe (try me, really, try me, ask me some time if you really wanna know), but those were the old times that I liked. From september till just recently, those were my days, the days. I will treasure them for ever, in the back of my mind and in this diary.

I have been feeling actually really better these past days and I am quite happy. I feel free from the conditions I have put on my self, the denial I have been living with for many a day. I want to act out though, be a rebel, any want to join me, call me up (5470931). Know what would really make my day, if any one of you call me up, out of the blue and ask me to do something with you. Take me out on an adventure, I would be the happiest girl on the earth. You be the one to put a smile on my face for the day.

So I really have to thank my english teacher Mr.Barros. I owe him everything I am in english, everything he has shaped me to be. He has prepared me for life, to not trip and fall off that cliff of life. I felt so ready to take that english diploma, I had nothing to fear, I owe you so, so very much. I am going to miss your lovely class of yours. Because of you, I can now write so much better, I feel that I can write here in this diary of mine and feel like I own each and every one of the entries I put into here. Thats a feeling I will never ever let go of.