Metaphorically speaking, located in my heart I have all my emotions neatly put away in a box with the lid shut regarding him. Now the most important part. To lock it or throw it away. I am able to restrain my emotions now, mostly because they are dull and old. Still however a memory randomly pops up and smoke beings to kindle. Momentarily though. I will always hate myself for saying yes. It should of never started. It would of made it easier. I am all the wiser now for it. But I still beat myself up for it. I was young and naively wishing it wasn't so.

It's like pulling a band-aid off. I've been slowly tugging on it for years. I am at the end now, so the last part is to rip it off and throw it in the garbage. It is going to be a relief.

I can't dwell on this any more, it's wasted time. Finals have approached and it is going to be stressful from today on til the 17th. Then it's home time! I can't wait to be surrounded by familiar faces. I want to drink and be merry and to relax.