I dont know what is wrong, I am so confused and I hate it. I have a great time with him, I smile and I feel really happy. I just have this feeling inside me that is not one that I want at all. It is so hard to describe too. Something inside of me is stopping me. It's like my heart is not in it fully. I dont know why. I have had really good dates with him. I had a really good time with him today. I just dont know why I feeling this way. I dont get it. I hate it. It is not fair to me, to him. I havent told him what I am feeling. I can't hurt him, he doesnt deserve it. He is so happy, never been happier in his life. And here I am hung up on stupid old issues. I think I need to tell him that I need things to be slow and that I can't be in a serious relationship. I can't, I can't do it right now until I know where these feelings are coming from. I hate my deepest darkest me. It is nothing to hard core, I just have my demons. ahhhh. this is driving me crazy. We both dont deserve any of this.