I could lie to myself and to you. But I am not doing as well as I want to be doing. I am still in this rut. I hate it. I still feel really heavy. I want that feeling to go away. Like what I am learning in theology, the only thing that I take of value is that as humans we need relationships and that is what I need. I need that relationship in my life. I need that closesness. Ofcourse I'll flirt will guys, but it last like what a day....a week maybe. It's not like I'll take them home with me or anything. I am just so dis satisfyed with the horrible guys out there. I cannot say it enough.