Something in my life has got to change or else I'll go crazy. I am so sick and tired of shit. Now that I am past the point of blaming my self for a few things, I have decided that they were not entirely all my fault. My heart still feels like it is a hundred pounds. I don't think that will change in the near future.

And I think I'll have to start telling guys to back it off abit when trying to impress me, I mean "STOP BEING SO NICE TO ME" get over it. You will impress me more by not being so nice. Like what the hell. Why do I always get the ones that are nicer than me, who I can beat up. and all your quirks are WERID!!! I liked it better when I could attract the normal ones. They had manners some what. But they werent nicer than me and they sure as hell didnt have weird quirks. O and if they tired to beat me up, I could put on a fight until they well could of beaten me up. I think maybe its that I am so incredibly lonely. Like my heart feels so heavy and to add to that it is so lonely. Bad combination. I just dont get what happened. I mean I felt like I was given up on to soon. I mean where was the COMMUNICATION? I mean instead of trying to fix it, I was left like a broken toy. I mean were was your effort?

But hey look at me now....besides from feeling lonely...I am great. Broken toy not so much any more.

But yay, its off to do some essay writing.. YAY!!!!