So it is not the fact that I want to get numbers from guys because it is far from it. I just I beat myself up way to much. But cant I expect good things for myself. I feel like I am not wanted. I suppose I attract all the wrong people, but why then am I still going after the wrong people. Why do I have any interest in people that have proved to me as being jerk faces.

I totally have Jerome's words ringing in my ears right now. But he is rather right. I need to be with someone who gives a shit about me. Ya well people like that are few and far between.

I have been struggling with this for ages now. Its been driving me up the bloody wall. I just dont understand why I have any remote feeling of missing him. I dont want to. I just do. I wish I could turn it off. And I know I have to be rather careful when I am out. I can't smoother these feelings with some jack ass/dick who only thinks about himself. I need to deal with this head on.

All I want is for someone to give a shit about me.

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I give half a shit about you. The least you could do in return is the same. You should try your best..for I know your rather good at that arnt you.