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So my head was cluttered with many things. Today I have seemed to de-clutter most of them.
I have decided that I can't be in this continue-ation of beating myself up, being angry and just plain being sad. I mean life is way to short to be have negative feelings. What was to be was in my cards. It just sucks sometimes when we cant have something we so despreatly want. But I mean life goes on and I have already been able to smile again thanks to a certain someone from my past. And for that I am greatful. You have definatly warmed me up.
I guess as of late the reason why I have felt hollow feelings of love towards me is that, I am having a hard time trusting people or accepting them into my being after this break-up I had. I am trying to stay level headed but it is a rather hard thing to do. But I am happy, I mean there is only one person at the moment that this doesnt apply to. You have definatly surprized me in a very good way. thanks. and I can't wait til our shopping trip on friday. I love shopping at places like that. Maybe I'll even feed you dinner. lol.
SO it is Obvious that I wear my heart and emotions on my sleeve. I mean I can hide them pretty well but once they are out their on my sleeve so to speak. Some times I wish that I wasnt so emotional, but I suppose it is better to show emotion than to have no emotion at all. I think that my emotions have contrubuted greatly to the demise of losing people I really care for.
I really think that I have evoled into something better than the person I was 10 months ago, I hate change of any sort, but this change even though it was painful in the very end I think was nessisay for me to be a stronger person and to choose more carefully.
I am greatful that I have this place, I can write pretty much un-guarded. I can write how I am feeling let everything out. It helps alot in some cases.
- when it rains it pours.