I still have a feeling that he doesnt trust me enough to behave like a good little girl should when under the influence. I can see that he has an argument against me in proving that I could faulter again. In that I could be my friendly self and god forbid talk to boys. In my defence all i can say is that i can't help it and the reason I cant help it is that I am usually the only girl there. Like hello temptation.

It just hurts me that he wouldnt trust me, or is concerned or worried that I would do that to him again. All I want to say is grow up sissy boy. But then I dont at the same time cause when do you come across a guy who does show that much emotion. I mean it is so rare, boys at a young age are taught to surpress any emotion they have.

I guess I will have to watch myself very carefully. Keep reminding myself when I drink that I dont have to much or if I have to much remember to limit talking to boys or stick close to Tyler. But then it brings me up to this point. Why didnt he pull me aside the first time. Like just looking distraught is not going to get my attention when drunk. You actually have to pull me aside and say what up and why are you doing this. cant you see its hurting me.

It was funny cause it reminded me of the tatto I wanted to get on my wrist. That of a heart. Just a outline in black. That would be the perfect reminder for me to behave. Like I mean the tatto has other meanings behind it.

I just dont want to lose that boy to anything or any one. I mean I have truelly found my perfect match. I know my stories can just be plain stupid and I shouldnt tell them most of the time. And that I have said a couple mean things.

I just still cant get it out of my head what he said. It hurts and it i guess is mostly true. That if i hurt him like that again he will never look at me the same, that he will be shattered. I mean like grrr. Who knew drinking and talking to guys could be such a problem