I haven't gone to look at the stars in a while, and I miss them...Tonight I will go out my back door and onto the deck, down the stairs and onto the lawn, where I will lie down and look up into the heavens. The sparkling stars will shine into my eyes where I will find the little dipper and O'Ryans belt. I hope to find a shooting star, that would be my wish, my hope. And I will be listening to the songs, Swing Life Away by Rise Against and You and Me by Lifehouse. I also hope to see the Northern Lights, for I haven't seen them since late that one night after the grad banquet. HMMMMM I can't wait to get out of calgary in the summer, my time here is not going to be wasted all day on the computer doing god knows what, I have to make that promise to myself. Going away is going to refresh myself and make me reborn again. I am already in envy on what I love about going away to vernon,the fruit, the feeling I get there when I walk in the streets, when I talk to the neighboors, just being there I love. I can't wait to go one skiing again, going tubing. Thanks to god that we are not going camping there for 2 weeks there. Like I do have to admitt that camping is great and is fun some what, but I really want that cabin, then I will enjoy it even more, and I can have all my friends there, Past and Present. I want all my old friends there who I haven't talked to in ages and I want my current friends for they are the important ones, they are the ones who matter to me the most. I think when I am older and have my life where I want it, I wanna move into a small town, where everyone knows each other and the community is an intamate one. I don't like the big city's, it does not appeal to me at all, maybe thats why vernon appeals to me so much. I wanna live by a lake, by mountains, the one big plus in living in that small of the community is that you can see the stars all night, you don't have to drive aways outside of the city to find them. You have them on your door step waiting for you to enjoy them. Why am I rambling on like this? What the hell is wrong with me? I'm not okay (I promise) thats what I feel like, in that My chemical romance song. I think I really just need to find some one where I can tell anything to them and they wouldn't think that I need to go to some doc to get some help. My issues arn't that bad, or that way where I need that kind of help. I think all that I need is that confermation of that they are going through the same things as me or they have already gone through those things. That I can talk to that person and feel better about myself and have hope for my present...... I really think I have to stop all of this, I have done enough talking for the night. peace out.