2005-03-14 8:55 p.m. : here's my "I'm all happy" mask
I am sad, depressed (but only just a little), and lonely. When ever i am around people, i wanna get away from them, to be alone. When ever i am alone, i need to be around people. I just can't stand being around more than 2 people at a time. I always have to put on my, "everything is just fine" mask, my "i'm all happy" mask. I hate it. I really really hate it. I need to find that person who would know me so well, they could look in my eyes and know right away that i am feeling down in the dumps. Even though i have one of my i'm alright masks on.

gggggrrrrrrr i wish he could come to me. Just come already. I've been waiting to long, come on show up at my door. But you know what they say.... "the one of you will show up when you least expect it." "the one for you will come when the time is right." " That you will realize that the one for you, to spend the rest of your life with will hit you in the face when, you can't have them back, for what ever reason. May it be break up, moving away, maybe even death. So ya if your the guy for me, call me!!!!

I am so so so so so so so so sorry. i really am. i wish i felt the same way back.... but i don't. I think if i gave you a chance, that i would lead you one and i don't want that. I think that i would only have half my heart into it. i don't know what else to say, but only that i wish it were different, cause if it was you would of already heard from me. :( sorry again.

OOOOOOO so i finally got some more music.... some stuff is really good... i think. I am kinda in that emo melodic stuff, for a lack of a better description. i donno what you would call it, but its pretty damm good. here i'll give you some examples of what it sounds like.... um "broken" by seether or like that one song Jimmy eat world has.... i think its called "hear you me" ( god i luv that song). I can't think of any other examples. hmm i am listening to "the steal" by Via Maris, its just a guy sing and playing his gutair another one of his songs that is pretty good is called "tonight is a gift." i wish i could email him or something and tell him how much his music means to me...........
any ways spent way way to long typing this, i have to to my social project now......
wish me luck!!!