I don't know what's come over me today. Perhaps it was the fact that I was up for almost 24 hours dealing with moving out of my place in Vic. Arriving at the lake at 5 in the morning is not something that I want to repeat on a regular basis. Nor is it the fact that for the first part of the journey after getting off the ferry I thought I was going to die on the highway.

But I digress to the point. I am in a strange mood and want to be comforted through being held and my hair stroked listening to the Zolas. I just probably need sleep. I am over tired from finals and packing up. I would be nice though to have some company at the lake. Get into some trouble or just relax with a beer in the hot tub.

ANCIENT MARS- The Zolas

I want to believe in time travel
that one day I�ll come back for you.
find you in the campus library aisles and I�d say
Oh my ancient Mars.

when the rusty rocks were covered in groves
and the pyramids foretold acidic snows
all was still breathing like my hands on your toes and I said
Oh my ancient Mars

Several billion golden years ago
I lost a planet that I loved to the cold
civilization blooms and then it erodes. And that�s it
Oh my ancient Mars.

I got a text a couple of weeks ago from him and again last night wondering why I had not replied. I do not know what he wants from me, what does he see of me. Why does he still hang in my life. I am not sure how to approach the situation. It could be deadly simple. It could be complicated. It could all be in my head. My feelings are complicated and conflicted.