I miss things past. But today is today and the future is to come. I want to look to the future, but I keep on turning back to what was. I don't think there is necessarily anything wrong with that, but at some point I have to look straight on to the future.

I remember things well. I know how to play stupid, I do it quite well. I hide behind a strong person, because of what has shaped me. I scared to make any move in any direction, in fear of the results. Case in point I am at a stand still. O what to do?

In other news, I hope my Euro trip does not get de-railed because of the swine flu. What crappy luck that would be. I have to go to!!!! There is no questioning that!!!!