In terms of Austria... still talk, and enjoy every minute of it which is still scaring the crap out of me because the more we talk, the more I wish we were in the same area. Such is life and there are many options to this. It's just a matter of which route will play out. I think the next opportunity to see each other will be in Oct, if Oktoberfest pans out with the group of exchange students I became friends with in Sweden. I'd probably either fly out early or stay later depending, and spend a few days touring around with him in Austria. I mostly want to see the Alps and then Vienna.
With that said, I guess now that I am oldish, I want a stable, long lasting relationship...I've being reading this book that a friend recommended, that states that my generation is especially concerned with being the best in their job, being the best in everything else except the relationship department. That meaningful and lasting relationships have gone out the window. The casual hook up is the norm and when people identify what the want out of life, or want to be identified as....job and status always comes out on top. I guess I can agree to some extent with this, it is what I wanted for the longest time. But what I have become to realize over the past year is that at this point in my life I want to find my best friend, someone I can see as spending a long time together....and if you can put two and two together....this is what is scaring me. And what I have been trying to figure out in my head. I am trying to use both logic and my heart. The distance may be a good or bad thing. I am scared in putting to much stock in this because in the past, I have with other people and it ended up terrible. Why I feel this relationship is different, I am not sure. The main difference is that our relationship while in Sweden was only a friendship, verging on both of us going mental because we wanted to cross that line. Early on we knew we were attracted to each other, we grew close by the end, but we never did kiss or anything of that nature. He had a gf and I respected that for the most part. There might of been a couple of occasions where I tried, he tried...but, with him, I didn't want to cross the line. Not that I respected the gf, but I cared too much about him. I knew throughout exchange that he was having problems and that made me want him to repair what he did have her. He and his gf had been going out for a very long time. Now when we talk we both regret not acting upon our desires with each other. But I told him, I cared about him too much to do that to him. He told me that it showed that I could be trusted.
Ahh, I feel like I am rambling and I wish I had someone to bounce what I am feeling. I want to ask Austria some key questions that would sort out a couple of thoughts in my head, but I don't feel like they are appropriate at this moment. Even though I am not sure if he is joking or not about us getting married if we haven't found anyone in the next few years...I am not exactly sure how serious or not he is. I mean it keeps on getting brought up randomly in conversation. Isn't that a sign or something that a guy is think about you and the future...lol. And I mean he did bring up the M word not me. Joking or not...the Alps, Audi and house does all sound appealing. He actually scolded me because I "forgot" that he asked me to be his "wife." Joking or not like that with me, is so not cool. I could actually see myself with him, or a person with similar characteristics. Smart, makes me laugh, similar likes and dislikes...I could go on.
I'm just rambling at this point and I should get back to Strategy...need to develop what my group plans to do for the simulation. I think it is going to be a war of Canada vs. Germany!!!!